CO-OPERATIVE FAN-FIC

Since he didn't understand the feeling and what it ment, he shrugged and left Mirthful alone chatting with the frogs. They seemed to get along better and better, but Chad didn't notice. He looked ahead, and his breath froze. The roof suddently went sky-high, and walls were all covered with big pictures of Valpurus, the king of gods. They seemed to be made of gemstones and noble metals, and anyone could see that they were more expensive than the rest of the city. A bit futher away there stood a bearded man, whose eyes were closed and his mouth moved a bit, as if he had been talking in his sleep. He was surrounded with beautiful women, and when he looked at them, Chad felt strange again. Suddently the apparently sleeping man opened his eyes and shouted: "You! Thou shall not bring dirty thoughts into this holy tempe! Wipe your mind or I will order the guards at you!" Chad quickly bowed at him, and started thinking about eels. It was effective, and soon he lifted his eyes again, being careful not to look at the maidens again. Suddently he noticed, that there were no guards in the room, although he had just been threathened with them... He walked to the bearded man, who was now eyeing him with disrespect, and said, "What businness do you have, dirty one, in this holy temple?" "I've been told to deliver a scroll to high priest Petrus from Richel Decos in New Attanam.." Chad said. Man lifted his eyebrows and reached out his hand. Chad looked at it for a moment, and then tried to shake it. Petrus shook his hand off furiously. "not your hand, the scroll, you idiot! I'm high priest Petrus, and you may not touch me!" One of the maidens came in an instant and washed Petruses hand. Then he took the scroll. As Petrus was reading the scroll, Chad noticed that Mirthful had stopped chatting with the frogs and was smiling broadly, as he walked aside Chad. "Funny fellas, de black ones... Hehe, funny indeed, I'll tell you one of their stories when we get out. And wise too!" He had to stop, since Petrus gave him a look that shook the grin away from his face and he blushed.

Yes we devilered the scroll!

Then Petrus muttered an incantation, and the scroll glowed yellow, and it became possible to read! Petrus demanded that Chad read it aloud. Since Chad couldn't read well, he sort of mumbled the first few words. Sensing trouble, Mirthful took over. The content was mostly ass-kissing BS, but then the last few words read: "The one that brings you this scroll will be at your service." Petrus closed his eyes again, and started mouthing words again. Just as Chad and Mirthful were about to leave however, he called them back and said: "I have been told that you two were seen leaving the Underwater Tunnel. That means you have defeated Versana Genetrix, and thus have some skill at arms. Therefore, seeing as how you serve us now, I have a task for you two." Chad blurted: "What? There wasn't anybody around when we got out." Petrus eyed Chad with great dislike, and said: "Our ESP Intelligence Network is greater than you know, foolish one. As I was saying, I have a task for you two. An evil frog by the name of Elpuri who hates Valpurus and this temple more than anything else has taken up residence in an old mine a few days' distance away. He has been causing our city some trouble lately, and we have discovered that he is gathering an army to attack us. Our army is not suited to fighting underground, so it would be foolish to take the battle to him. Rather, you two shall venture into the Gloomy Cave and bring me his head. Then the two of you will be rewarded greatly upon your return. For now, visit the librarian. He will have valuable information. Tomorrow, return here at the summons. Guards! Show them out." Unseen hands clamped down on their shoulders, and steered them outside. Chad and Mirthful looked at each other uneasily. They didn't much like what they heard about this mission.

Right at that moment, the skies turned dark and screams could be heard from all around. Suddenly, legions of renegade dark frogs began jumping over the walls and attacking anything in sight. "Ribbit! Croak!" A marauding frog chomped of a housewife's legs, leaving her to crawl forward on her hands looking for child. Mirthful pounced on the frog from behind and placed a crutch into its braincase. "Ribbit! Croak!" Another frog bounded over Chad's head but was soon attacked by three Valpurian guard frogs, who took it down. The entire city guard was now on the street completely suited up. A platoon of stalwart dwarves also marched single-file out of the castle. A group of 6 frogs with launched thems in unison over the city walls and tried to rush Petrus' place, but were soon torn to froggereens by a charging dwarf "For the glory of Valpurus!" KABLOOOOOOOOOOM! The biplegic wife had been in the vincinity of the blast, and was soon thrown skyward. She landed a minute later right on her arms, pushing them both out of joint and ripping one out of its socket. Still, she dragged herself along on one arm looking for her baby. It was amazing how much the human body could take without bleeding to death! Eventually things settled down as the number of invading frog commandos were killed or retreated. The skies returned to their normal color and ribbits of victory could be heard from all around. Chad and Mirthful felt a presence and turned to see a beautiful winged creature. The angel said, "Elpuri has already launched his first attack. The survival of the kingdom lies in the balance." Chad said "huh?" but Mirthful slapped him ten times before he could act clueless again. Then Mirthful hit him twelve times with the flat of both crutches. Chad said "Dude, all right! I won't act dumb again!" Mirthful kicked him in the groin thirty times just to make sure that he remembered his promise and said, "Yo Chaddie, let's drink this off." They headed back towards the bar that they had been kicked out of. After all, they had until tomorrow to carouse.

The two walked in the direction of the bar, but only found a smoking ruin. "Some frogs came in here and started biting off the patron's heads. Then this dwarf from around the way came in and blew everything to shit. If it be a drink ya wants, pull up a keg from over there and have some leftovers from the tankards that we salvaged. Ya can pay up when ya leave" said a charred man. The two did as he said.

The biplegic wife had been in the vincinity of the blast, and was soon thrown skyward. She landed a minute later right on her arms, pushing them both out of joint and ripping one out of its socket. Still, she dragged herself along on one arm looking for her baby. It was amazing how much the human body could take without bleeding to death! hahaha you are horrible ! But that's the ivan spirit ! " NEED TO SEVERE MORE LEGS " :F Mirthful kicked him in the groin thirty times just to make sure that he remembered his promise and said, "Yo Chaddie, let's drink this off." You ll have to tell me how did he kicked that high xD

Mirthful has been half-legged for quite some time. But he is also a quick study of the Banana-Thai, a martial art practiced by Banana Growers to defend against greedy frogs which raid banana farms every so often. This martial art makes liberal use of leaping knee attacks. Mirthful is actually able to leap quite high by "stepping" down hard with his right knee, which is lower down than his left, which catapults him into the air for an attack.

The two hadn't had a good drink in a long time, and start downing valdemar stein after valdemar stein. Soon Chad was dancing in a figure-eight pattern, and starting to hurl. Mirthful decided to have a bit of fun and lit Chad's vomit on fire everytime he hurled. The vomit caught fire rather quickly as it was close to 100 proof. All the bouncers had been eaten in the frog attack, and therefore no one was there to stop them. All the patrons laughed and started imititating Mirthful, also setting their own vomit on fire. But soon the conflagration grew out of control, and several kegs of Valdemar blew a couple patrons into the air. Chad's clothing was splashed red by a patron which had been hit square in the chest by a flying, exploding keg. Mirthful said "let's beat this joint," and the two left. They heard that there was another tavern across town with some fine maidens and a couple skalds.

And with that, the frog gave Chad the most hurt look a frog could and cursed him. Chad immediately got this strange feeling that he couldn't put his finger on. Is this supposed to have any effect? I'd like it to be polymorphitus or lycanthropy, if you don't mind. Increases the possibilities. They arrived at the other tavern, but it was in fact more of an inn than a tavern. They sat down at the wooden seats, with a table of marble between them. They looked about the dim place. They sensed this place was very different to the one they left a while ago. Instead of drunks, this place had farmers, hunters, and other shadowy figures who appeared to be adventurers just as they were. They breathed in the smokey air, and wondered if they had to pay for food and drinks. Being former banana growers, they had no money on them. Just then, a man in a cloak caught their eyes, and he waved them over. As Chad and Mirthful joined this man at the table over in the corner, he spoke: "You are new here-" Then Chad cut him off mid-sentence: "How'd you know?" Mirthful kicked Chad under the table, but the stranger didn't seem to mind. He drew out something from under his cloak. "Amulets are useful things. I saw you two speak with Petrus. Now, I can guess at what he might have said to you. He has been looking for any traveller seeking for work, any stranger seeking adventure, to go bring him a certain frog's head. I also saw how you reacted during the attack a while ago. You two are good as banana growers go, but not good enough. I can help you." "Why would you want to do that?" asked Mirthful. The man looked at him. His hair was long for a man, it came down to his neck, not quite touching his shoulders, and most of his face was covered by it. However, his right eye was allowed a free view, and it was with this eye that he looked at Mirthful: "Because I know many things. I have travelled, fought, learned. You cannot do this deed as you are now. Not only does Elpuri have an army of monsters, other forces of chaos have joined him, swelling his ranks, empowering him. They have also stolen the Shirt of the Golden Eagle, the holy armour that Valpurus bestows upon his high priest. Petrus wouldn't have told you that. It is for this that I wish to join you. I have a quarrel with Petrus, and that can only be resolved by retrieving this Shirt." Chad and Mirthful were bursting with questions for this man that seemed to know so much, but then he ordered some food and drink, and questions were driven out of their heads with eating. They didn't notice he had left until they were done eating. "Where'd he go?" asked Chad. Just then, he returned, "I have arranged rooms at this inn for you tonight. Tomorrow morning, Petrus will summon both of you. When you are through with him, meet me at the market. We have some shopping to do." NOTE: This mystery man is based on a character of my creation. I introduced him to this fan-fic because he fills in the role of the stereotypical 'wizard'. Smart, wise, powerful, the role of the stereotypical 'wizard' is to keep the story flowing. Now that he's around, there's no need to bring in a character as often as we used to, and we can avoid a "Speedy Bollocks" situation. Doesn't mean we can't bring in other characters though. I'd like to introduce an ESP agent after the meeting with Petrus. Oh, and someone give this mystery guy a name. I'm no good with names. By the way, if you'd like to know more about the character this mystery man is based on, PM me!

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