Meanwhile Mirthful had happened upon some stairs and decided to proceed up them. He thought he might find that daft newbie Chad there. Well, the moment he popped his head above the plane of the staircase a giant green thing swooped down with its Venus-flytrap jaw and bit him in the groin! Find it difficult to move his stubs due to the incredible pain in his nuts, he swung with abandon with both bladed crutches, cutting the monstrosity to smithereens. He needed to rest and allow his bleeding groin to recover. But he hadn't closed his eyes for five minutes when all of sudden he was surrounded by an entire army of the green monstrosities. Right, Left, spinning crutch move of death, Sugar-Ray-Sucker-Crutch, Bruce-Lee-Multiple-Crutch-Jab "Haiyaa! Maaoo~~! Ohhwaaaaiiiii~~!" Mirthful sure was in the spirit for an all-out brawl, but the stupid plants wouldn't stop sprouting! He started to feel short of breath and had to support himself upright with one bladed crutch. He alternated to using one crutch to fend off all comers while using the other to support himself and let the prone arm rest. As soon as his groin recovered, he was gonna' zoom out of here on his stubby legs. Then, WHACK! This plant bigger than the others (but not Venetrix mind you) bit one of his stubby legs off! "Me stub!!!!" "Me stub!!!!!" He said it a third time with an extra exclamation point just for emphasis. The blow had rocked him HARD. He foamed blood at the mouth. It seemed that secondary blunt damage had traveled through his chest. "Banzai!!!!!!!!" he screamed in his best faux Kamikaze-Dwarf voice and did a suicide whirlwind attack into the blasted plant. It fell. Mirthful fainted from exhaustion. When he came to, he found himself using the slain plant as a bed of sorts. He also discovered a couple kiwis that had fallen out of it. "I be hungry" he mumbled and stuffed them in his mouth. Where was that blasted Chad?

Unknown to Mirthful, Chad was just around the corner in a room, drinking from a fountain. He was just drinking quietly, when all of a sudden a snake popped out, Chad screamed. "AHHHHHHHH!" Chad fell backwards, he tried to draw his sword but he was sitting on top of it. The snake didn't want to fight, it just slithered on top of and around Chad. he felt like such a jerk. Chad began standing up, when the door swung open, Chad screamed......again. AHHHHHHHHH! "What," said Mirthful "I not be that scary!" Chad replied "Oh Loricatus, I feel like an idiot." Mirthful came inside "Have a Kiwi." He walked over and leaned against the fountain, "Who ya friend." Chad looked over at the snake "I think i'll call him...

"I think I'll call him Slappy" Chad said, as the snake tried to climb up his boots. Chad stood up, slapping the snake gently. Snake hissed a bit, but bid to Chads will and gave up. Chad shooed it to go to it's way, and so it went. Mirthful was drinking from the fountain, and seemed a bit out of it. Chad thought that he also looked a bit worn out... "What happened to you, did you find anything?" Chad asked. "Me finds de staircase up juzz a'ound da corner. Nothing elz'ee in de tunels, jus' this worn but useful belt." Mirthful replied and handed Chad a strange leather belt. Chad put it on, and felt the weight lightening on his shoulders. "Oh, this kind of a belt! Thank you, sincerely!" Chad said, and bowed. "oo, dis' is nothing! Really!" Mirtful said, and walked to a corner. "Me be taking a nap, got kinda tired killing those damn plants spawning upstairs. Ya might wan't to be careful in der', matie." Chad said him good-bye, and left him in the room which was soon filled with a peaceful snore. Chad soon found the stairs, and remembering his last encounter with the plants, he smiled and proceeded up boldly. His smile died, when he saw the battlefield with Mirthful's cut off stub. This was serious after all. So, he bit his teeth together, and proceeded to the darkness. After a moment and a few normal zombie encounters (the second one ate slappy! Chad whacked off all of it's limbs after setting it on fire, as a revenge), he experienced an ambush similar to the one that had surprised Mirthful so off guard. In a wide tunnel he was just about to pick up a nice looking wand, when the ground woke up. Four smaller and two bigger plants surrounded him completely, and Chad became worried. As the big plant, that had sprouted in front of him bit, he almost paniced. The bite went right to the bone of his left leg, and he screamed! He quickly formed a strategy, to cut down one weaker opponent first and then escape the deathtrap. After that he could take the monsters one by one... That's what he did. Chad attacked fiercely to the one at his right front, and after a few slashes it died. In the mean time the others had gnaved their way through Chads armour, and had startet to tickle his ribs in a bit nasty way. Chad swung himself from the hole he had just made, and started fighting with the bigger, blue plant. It fell, and so did the other normal plant. Two plant's left. But after killing the others Chad wasn't in a good shape either. . His escape route was cut, and he knew no way around. He had noticed that the terrain seemed rather alive itself, so he didn't dare to sleep in this place. He decided that now was a time for a prayer. Chad's condition: - In a bad shape * Missing a left leg - Knows * Loricatus - Inventory: * Lantern * A scroll of detect material * A bottle of troll blood * An iron Pick Axe * A wand of striking * Ommel hair belt - Wielding: * Leather boots, gloves (+2), armour * Iron helmet * a Hardened leather belt of carrying +1 * An iron short sword +1

Loricatus smiled upon the poor bugger and gave his regular blessing to his disciples, but then, suddenly Chad's leg started to grow back! And... It was made of STEEL! METEORIC STEEL! Chad was suprised by his leg popping back on like that, but happy, suddenly another plant sprouted up, he kicked it in the maw REALLY hard, with ALL of his might, and it splattered all over the wall! Chad was pleased with these results. Chad's condition: - In a moderatly bad shape * Has a new shiny meteoric steel leg - Knows * Loricatus (but recently prayed to him) - Inventory: * Lantern * A scroll of detect material * A bottle of troll blood * An iron Pick Axe * A wand of striking * Ommel hair belt - Wielding: * Leather boots, gloves (+2), armour * Iron helmet * a Hardened leather belt of carrying +1 * An iron short sword +1

Chad was feeling pretty bad-ass now. "If only all of my limbs were made of this!" he mused. As was wont to happen when he day-dreamed, disaster struck. Suddenly Chad was surrounded by 6 gigantic blue plants. Chad swung heroically at the maw of the one in front of him closing down on him. He hit damn good, but it was still alive! While he was occupied with this one, the other five attacked in concert, making mush of his arms. Soon, their venus flytrap maws were stained red from the remnants of his arms. Chad had but his legs left, but kicked heroically at the plant in front of him and killed it! He made like a quarterback and run through the gap made by the defeated plant. (He used to play in the annual banana growers' cup. Of course devious Chad didn't win due to his athletic prowess. He rigged the football field with bear traps and ran formations in the empty spaces while everyone else was trying to extricate their mangled limbs. Chad never understand why the referee kicked him out of the game. Nothing in the Attnam football rulebook said you couldn't set beartraps. Chad set a beartrap in front of the ref's office later to get revenge. Unfortunately the ref tripped right in front of the trap, fell into it headfirst, and decapitated himself. Chad had to flee the scene at that time, but I digress.) Unfortunately, the plants on either side of him made flanking bites and almost severed of his one organic leg! Chad tripped, and his vial of troll blood broke as it rolled in front of his race. Fortunately, most of the liquid flowed into a little depression. Chad made like an inchworm and inched close enough so that his tongue could like the spilled troll blood out of the depression. He felt warm. A finger sprouted from his right stump. After about 10 seconds, it became a hand. Pretty soon it would become an arm. But he didn't have time for that. The plants behind him were biting at his feet, and all he could do was kick at them with his steel leg. He spied his sword between the group of plants. He had his pickaxe in his backpack, but with no usable arms, he couldn't get it out. He screamed, "MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" "MIRTHFUL, HELP!" Chad's condition: - In sad shape * Has chipped meteoric steel leg * No left arm * Right arm slowing growing back - Knows * Loricatus (but recently prayed to him) - Inventory: * Lantern * A scroll of detect material * An iron Pick Axe * A wand of striking * Ommel hair belt - Wielding: * Leather boots, gloves (+2), armour * Iron helmet * a Hardened leather belt of carrying +1 * An iron short sword +1

(MEANWHILE) *Mike rests against a Balsa wall* :far off scream: "AHHHHHHHHH" "My gods! That sounded like a BANSHEE! Wait a minute.... CHAD!!" *he bursts out of the room and sprints for the UT3 doors* (MEANWHILE, AGAIN) Chad gets no response, so he screams AGAIN "MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, HELP!!!"\ Chad's condition: - In sad shape * Has chipped meteoric steel leg * No left arm * Right arm slowing growing back * (minor) Thirsty from exausting himself with all this screaming - Knows * Loricatus (but recently prayed to him) - Inventory: * Lantern * A scroll of detect material * An iron Pick Axe * A wand of striking * Ommel hair belt - Wielding: * Leather boots, gloves (+2), armour * Iron helmet * a Hardened leather belt of carrying +1 * An iron short sword +1

The plant snaped again and again as Chad rolled around the floor screaming for help. Snap, Snap, RRRRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP! Chad turned around, the plant had tore into the first pouch of his backpack, his FAVOURITE backpack, the one his mother made him for his 6th birthday! The plant was chewing noisely, he gave it a mean stare, but just then Chad realized what it was chewing on, a little black stick with a white tip, he ducked for cover. BOOOOOOOOOOOM Little bits of green flesh fell from all directions, Chad looked around, no monsters to be seen, he was safe, for now.

Then, just as Chad heaved a breath of relief, 4 plants burst out of the pile of plant corpses and kamikazied him with plantacious madness. "No!" "No!" Answering in the negative didn't help Chad in the least. At last, Chad has achieved complete quadriplegic-ness. However, he found little solace in this achievement, and continued to scream.

Mirthful finally awoke from his nap, but not from Chad's screaming. Chad had already screamed himself hoarse, and had ruined his vocal chords about 15 minutes ago. So Mirthful slowly got up, and grumbled to himself, "I wonder what that little whippersnapper has gotten himself into this time..." Mirthful made a little campfire atop some monster corpses, and began brewing coffee while whistling to himself. He thought, "That boy will have to start learning how to fend for himself. Look at me! I've been without full-length legs for a long time and improvised! Me be smart! Me be tough! Me be Mirthful!" MEANWHILE... Chad continued to squirm, and then a plant's jaws glanced of his skull and knocked him out.

poor guy... As chad was happily asleep, Mirthful finished his salad and stood up. He felt a bit bloated, as he had colpletely eaten up two whole plants. He started walking to a random direction, and found a few rooms. The first was empty with some random find's, but the other had a strange altar in it.It seemed to be one for the mighty Legifer, guardian of law and order. He smirked in his own way, kneeled and offered his recent find's to the mighty god. That wasn't much, but the god did accept the gifts from him. Suddently he felt a strange urge to also give his right arm, but shook the feeling out of his head and continued to cleaning the room (into his own pockets). Suddently he heard a muted thump from outside the room. His weapons were in his hands in an instant, and he proceeded quickly against the wall, facing the only door to the room. Nothing came through it, but as he listened carefully, he could hear something sharp and hard screaking quietly against something a bit harder. As the fun didn't come to Mirthful, mirthful had to go to the fun. "So 'rogant, that bloody crreature - whoever ya 're" he whispered, as he sneaked around the corner. He saw Chad. Or actually, he saw four bloodstained, maniac plants, two of which were trying to bite Chad's shiny leg, one was swinging on its roots as in great pain, and one trying to process Chad's helmet to bits. Mirthful sighed, almost decided to leave the plants alone but then noticed his co-operative Chad and walked to the plants. After 15 seconds of small-talk between the blade and the plants, he dug Chad out from beneath the salad-mountain and took him to the chappel. It looked serious, indeed. Mirthful felt himself very noble and generous, as he poured half of his recent find, a healing potion into Chad's mouth. Chads wound's healed in a moment and he grew a new left arm but remained unconscious for a short while longer. Chad's condition: - Critical hit in the north-east wing, other systems green * Has chipped meteoric steel leg - Knows * Loricatus - Inventory: * Lantern * A scroll of detect material * An iron Pick Axe * Ommel hair belt - Wielding: * Leather boots, gloves (+2), armour (broken) * Iron helmet (broken) * a Hardened leather belt of carrying +1 (broken) * An iron short sword +1

Mirthful had gotten wounded himself, otherwise he would've upended the entire healing potion into the useless whippersnapper's mouth. "Useless dolt!" he mouthed, but then immediately became cheerful again, saying "Well, at least he makes good conversation and hasn't been killed yet. Me needs to talk to someone every so often. Last time me ran into dis orc, but he just kept saying 'Me wants your scalp. Me wants your scalp.' So of course I killed him. Me finds me talking to meself a whole lot lately. Why that be, me?" After concluding this soliquy, Mirthful pulled out a stained rag and started wiping himself and Chad down. They were both soaked to the neck in plant innards. While it didn't affect their ability to fight, it was unpleasant and stunk. Unfortunatey, Mirthful had forgotten the teachings of his master, Maudlin' Eviscerator, and had his back turned to the door while wiping down Chad. This was a no-no for any warrior. "Always be prepared for a battle," his former instructor had taught him. Mirthful would pay dearly for this in about five seconds... Five, Four, Three, Two, "KERPLAP!" He felt 2 axes driven into the small of his back, and "Me wants your scalp!" screamed by some foul-breathed creature. He knew it was one of those damn orcs again. Why the hell couldn't they say anything else? It didn't matter if they were rank-and-file-orcs or orc generals, they all said the same, freaking thing. He couldn't imagine how orc society could function around just 4 words. He imagined an orcish school: Orc_Teacher: "Me wants your scalp!" Orc_Students: "Me wants your scalp!" But he had more pressing problems to deal with rather than this philosophical reflection. He had 2 axes in his back. And he had been struck so hard, he momentarily could not move. He had fallen across Chad's midsection, preventing him from moving as well. But at least Chad had been shaken awaken. Surprisingly, the orc said something different this time, "I could hear you all the way in the fountain room, you fool! I heard every word that you said! It's not that we have a limited vocabulary because we are dumb as goblin crap, it's because we're programmed this way!!! Now you know that we can say more than 'Me wants you scalp,' right?! But you know what? Me really does want your scalps! Muhahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!" And with that, the orc began swinging his axes into Mirthful's back with merciless repitition. 5 seconds later, two of the orc's brothers showed up on either side of him, and helped him time his swings by saying, "One two, One two, left, right, left right, Oh I must that I'm in the orc platoon, No, I'm not a goon, Give me a spoon and I'll sharpen it good, you better knock on wood that I won't come after your head~!" It wasn't very melodious, but then again, Mirthful and Chad weren't in a position to care.

Very funny Chad watched the Orcs choping into Mirthful while sing there song, when suddenly there was a scream. "SSSCCCAAAAAAAAAAALLLPPP!" Orc 1 had accidently hit his friend (Orc 2) in the chest while singing the 'left, right' part of his song. Orc 2 just stood there looking into his chest, at first he looked suprised, then upset, and finally angry, he turned to Orc 1 and said four spine chilling words "Me wants your SCALP!" Orc 2 ran towards Orc 1 with his axe over his head and then, "KERPLAP!" Orc 2 had ran right into Orc 2 and now the Orc 1's axe was in both orcs. Chad at this moment knew it was time to act. (Sorry about the Orc names, you can name 'em if you want)

The orc chopping into Mirthful's back was confused by the tumult and turn his back towards orcs 1 and 2. Chad was effectively pinned down, but was able to twist his head to put the hilt of one of Mirthful's bladed crutches into his mouth. With a twist of his neck which gave him a violent charlie horse he swung the crutch with his jaw into the orc's midsection, lancing it in the heart from the rear. Orcs 1 and 2 were too much involved in their own battle to notice that their friend had been slain by an incredibly lucky critical hit.