The drunken pirate initiated action by blowing inebriated breath at a single lit match at the other three, setting them all aflame and igniting backpacks of gunpowder which he had steathily set at their feet while they weren't watching. While the three pirouetted amidst crimson flames...

They all morhped into one, to form the ultimate creature, and then Jesus joined them, to form Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus, the ultimate being. http://img122.imageshack.us/img122/2167/1146113093508nu6.jpg

But then a character named "Jarbuli" showed up and decided to clone this funky amalgamation and use it against himself...

When suddenly the A.N.U.S. opened fire, missing the target entirely...

...anded ended up hitting Jesus with a volley of nuclear warheads. Jesus was pissed so he summoned a flock of angels armed with shoulder mounted RPGS and they... Yes! Let's get this thread going again!

Decided to have a picnic with Jarbuli, but...

Jarbuli would have none of this and cloned all the angels, resulting in an angel Battle Royale. Jesus, more incensed than ever...

...cloned A.N.U.S. and upgraded it with a...

A pelvic rail gun...

...but just then, Bill Gates flew in and said "I am the master of all evil!" He then gave viruses to both A.N.U.S.es, so Jesus...

Said, "You may be Bill Gates, but I am GOD. I blue screen you." And with that, Gates froze up and started chirping 1s and 0s...

1. sorry, i will add "the" in the A.N.U.S. 2. Jesus is one of those very few people. ...but jesus forgot about the Jarbuli, who then stabed him with a...

Valpurium hedgehog with an ergonomic handle fashioned by ebony wood...

...But just then Jesus pulled out a hedgehog seeking missile launcher...